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Seven days' suspension or 'bunk off work for a week and let that be a lesson to you'
The Commons dealt with David Laws on Monday. A year after his resignation as Treasury chief secretary, the committee on standards and privileges finally came up with its report on the case.
Labour MPs saw the perfect chance to stick the knife into the man who was – for 17 days – a leading member of the coalition cabinet they adore hating. Helen Jones, for example, listed Mr Laws's "extremely serious" misdemeanours, his "breaches of the rules over a very long time."
For 10 years he had been submitting demands for rent to be paid to his partner – in several properties over the period. He had paid his partner, from public funds, higher rent than the market price. He had got money for building work which should have been covered by the rent. He had claimed the house he shared in his London as his second home, when in fact he spent much less time in Somerset than in the Great Wen. He could have asked for advice from the authorities, and didn't even do so.
Some MPs seemed particularly cross that both David Cameron and Nick Clegg have hinted strongly they'd like him back in the cabinet. Why, demanded Frank Field, was there one rule for some and another for the rest? Many members who'd fiddled their expenses (he didn't use that term, of course) had not even had their knuckles rapped, still less suffered a year-long investigation.
Kevin Brennan, who chairs the committee, was – like so many MPs – enraged quite as much at the press as at Mr Laws. He said the judgment was a matter for the House, and "not for the media or the commentators within it". Yes, except it was the taxpayers' money Mr Laws was sprinkling like confetti.
In spite of his annoyance at newspapers sticking their noses where they didn't belong, Mr Brennan had more for the charge sheet: Mr Laws had chipped in £99,000 towards one property. He was getting us to pay rent – to himself.
There was a sunnier side. Over the year Mr Laws had behaved in exemplary fashion. He had repaid the money and co-operated with the committee. Excellent, though it's easy for us all to see the error of our ways once we've been caught bang to rights.
Bob Dowd, another Labour backbencher, fired grapeshot from a musket. There had been a "systematic, calculated, flagrant" deception, and a pattern of behaviour consisting of "deceit, deception and fraud". If the house didn't take action, the public wouldn't understand.
After a short debate, the Commons decided, without a vote, to punish these heinous crimes with seven days' suspension. Since it took a year to investigate the case, Mr Laws was in the position of a burglar who, having been tried over five days, is sent to jail for one hour. Or, to put it another way, the judge might say: "You have been convicted of a serious and, may I say, repulsive crime. You richly deserve a condign and exemplary punishment. I sentence you to bunk off work for a week, and let that be a lesson to you."
