(BBC2)
Have you filled in this bloody census yet? I'm just tackling it now: I've got to the section on health. Am I deaf or dumb? No, neither. Blind? Going that way. Lunatic? Hmmm, ditto I'd say. Imbecile or feeble-minded? Depends who you ask.
I must say I am surprised by the tone of some of these questions; I know political correctness is a bit over, but this is taking its overness to a whole new level …
Oh, damn, I'm filling in the wrong one! I've got the 1901 census here, too, and I've somehow got them muddled up. Here's the new one, this massive purplish tome, 32 pages long. Here goes then. Do I look after, or give any help or support to family members, friends, neighbours of others, because of either long-term physical or mental ill-heath/disability or problems related to old-age? No.
And you know what, I definitely preferred filling in the old one – the direct, offensive approach makes the whole experience more entertaining. They should have reintroduced it – I bet they would have got a higher percentage of responses. Do you live in sin in the eyes of God? Are you sponging off the state? Are you very very stupid? See: better.
What is interesting, though, is what previous censuses have revealed, and what this one will reveal, about this country we live in. Andrew Marr's documentary looks at how the census came about (fears about immigration, basically), and what they have told us over the years. It's the perfect mix of the big picture (race, employment, the way we live) to the quirky (like Blackpool is the divorce capital of Britain). Marr brings his own family into it, too, to give it a bit of Who Do You Think You Are?, and because you have to get personal when you're making television now. He also brings his big brain, wit and infectiously bouncy enthusiasm to the table.
Only two small moans: too much walking towards the camera, and the graphics, which are truly awful. Otherwise it's a winner. Marr has performed a miracle: he's taken a dull, mauve 32-page booklet and turned it into 60 fascinating and insightful minutes of television. Good work.