News about show business is never of any interest to me but the piece on page 3 (19 May) on Oprah Winfrey had me in stitches. It was the last line which did it: "'With Oprah, nothing is left to chance,' said celebrity expert Richard Laermer." What is a "celebrity expert"? Can one get a masters in the expertise at a US university? Is there an association representing them? Do such "experts" exist in the UK?
Malcolm Gluck
London
• I thought that my daily read, the Guardian, was opposed to the hereditary principle and in favour of merit. Yet Marina Hyde (Comment, 14 May) ignores Zac Goldsmith the eco warrior, the assiduous constituency MP, the life-enhancer and the generous philanthropist, and instead blames him for his father. I don't know her father, but I hope he doesn't get blamed for Miss Hyde's peevishness.
John Gummer
Conservative, House of Lords
• Although not rich enough to buy Tracey Emin's unmade bed (Report, 17 May), I – and many thousands of Labour voters – buy art and support local artists. The art we buy is usually affordable and within our means. I also have an unmade bed any time I want one – it's upstairs.
Terry Wafer
Widnes, Cheshire
• Surely the last word must go to The Chicken Song (Letters, 19 May): "Hold a chicken in the air / Stick a deckchair up your nose / Buy a jumbo jet / And then bury all your clothes."
Carole Coleman
Halifax, West Yorkshire
• Why read the McNulty report on Britain's fragmented rail system (Comment, 16 May), when Spike Milligan described the problem long ago in Puckoon: "I've just invented a machine that does the work of two men. Unfortunately, it takes three men to work it."
Graham Watt
Glasgow
• If Scotland chooses independence (Comment, 11 May), what would we call the rump of the UK? We could take a lead from the Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia and become the Former United Kingdom (England, Wales and Northern Ireland) – suitably abbreviated.
Nigel Watson
East Horsley, Surrey