As more and more children are being asked to give evidence in court, 'Megan' recounts her harrowing experience
My sister was six years old and I was 10 when my half-brother moved in with us. The abuse and rapes started immediately. I knew he was harming my sister, too. That's why I eventually told my mum: I couldn't bear the sound of her crying.
The police came round right away and my brother was arrested. Four days later, I went to a special house where they interviewed me on video. That was really stressful and upsetting but I was able to tell my full story.
After that, I wanted to put my life back together. I needed to talk to my mum. We all needed to talk.
Our family was completely broken. Because of the upcoming trial, though, no one was allowed to discuss it: we were told the jury might reject my allegations if the defence could say I had been influenced by other people. I couldn't even ask my mum if I was still a virgin. I had to bottle it all up. It was hell.
It took 18 months for the case to come to trial. There was a whole year of delays. Instead of being able to start the healing process from four days after telling people what had happened, I had to live in limbo. Over time, it became something different inside me. It became really destructive. My self-esteem was at rock bottom. I self-harmed, had insomnia. I became paranoid and severely depressed.
After he was charged, my brother was released. He bragged about what he had done to me, so everyone at school knew. The bullying was horrible. He moved in nearby and I saw him four times. He followed me once, in the park. I became paranoid: I never knew when I'd see him next or what he would do.
In those 18 months, I got no help or support at all. I only saw a counsellor because my mum saw I was self-harming and my GP referred me. I saw the police twice, to give responses to my brother's statement, and had to go to the hospital four times. Those visits were horrific. But they got the evidence they needed, so they were worthwhile.
The trial lasted three days; my evidence took two days. I talked to the court via a live television link. It took five and a half hours each day, and I hated every minute of it.
The judge was nice, but I felt so intimidated, pressured, disbelieved and patronised that I closed up. I didn't add anything to the account I had given in my pre-recorded evidence.
On the last day, I almost bumped into my brother outside the courtroom. It was only because my mum went outside to check he had gone that I didn't walk straight into him. I got one visit after the case from a social worker, then nothing. I was dropped. It took me five years to recover from it all, and the court case was definitely a big part of what I had to recover from.
My brother was found guilty of 12 charges, including rape. He was given two years without parole but was let out after one year. I've lost all faith in the system. I went through all that and he was out in a year.
Megan – not her real name – is now 16