Clik here to view.
Lucy Mangan on the people in the media spotlight in the past seven days
The new boss
Donald Trump
To the victor the spoils – and sometimes, perhaps, the other way around. After all, to the Weetabix-haired man with spoils in the billions may go victory in the contest for Republican presidential nominations. That's if, of course, his current media spree – private jetting around to any media outlet that will have him, supporting the anti-Obama "birther" obsessives and boasting about how much more money he's got than rival Mitt Romney – is a prelude to an actual announcement that he is going to stand for nomination, and not just a giant publicity stunt to increase ratings for the next series of The Apprentice.
A poll reveals that recognition of Trump among all voters far outstrips that of any other candidate, and fears are growing that he might decide there is indeed everything to play for. Would someone like to ask the question, "Do you really want to put in charge of the world's largest nuclear arsenal a man who's favourite phrase is 'You're fired?'" and soon, please? Thank you so much.
Suits you sir
David Cameron
First, No 10 announces Dave won't be wearing a morning suit to the royal wedding because he doesn't want to look like a toff. He'll be in a business suit! He's one of you! We're telling you he is, so it couldn't be clearer! Be ye all finally convinced!
Then, after this infinitely subtle ruse fails to convince the public, he backtracks and announces that he will wear a tailcoat after all.
He's done other stuff this week, such as attempting to block Gordon Brown from becoming head of the IMF and agitating, as ever, against AV, but I promise you, wearily, that this coat thing is really all we need to know about our mewling, U-turning prime minister.
Rodent reggae
Rastamouse
In happier news, CBeebies' new star – the reggae-loving rodent creation of Michael De Souza and Genevieve Webster – is to perform at Glastonbury this year. He and the rest of Da all-mouse Easy Crew, will perform three shows in the festival's Kidz Field, filling the air with off-beats, complex bass lines and a Glasto-appropriate desire to make a bad ting good.
This is good news for the aforementioned kidz, and for the students who have bypassed the traditional 10-year wait to discover the po-mo irony lurking in all childhood favourites, and taken the cheese-loving mouse straight to their irritating hearts. Oh, just eat a funny flapjack, shut up, stay out of the real kidz' way, and enjoy.
What we've learned
• 43% of 9 to 12-year-olds in Britain have a profile on a social networking site
• Prince Charles this week became the longest serving heir apparent in history
• 17% of today's population will live to be 100
• The price of gold has climbed to over $1,500 an ounce for the first time ever
• Home burglaries went up 14% last year
… and what we haven't
• The identities of all the celebrities who have taken out superinjunctions
What they said
"They are philistines." Martin Amis delivers his verdict on the Windsors before starting his new life in the US, cultural capital of the world.
"Being fat is the only flaw I've got, so once that is eliminated I'll be a flawless diamond." Former Apprentice contestant Stuart Baggs has a new dream.
"I'm not angling for an invite people. They should be with the people they love, not dodgy ex-con pop stars." George Michael denies ulterior motive for his gift of a Stevie Wonder cover to the happy royal couple.